Every now and then I find myself in an existential rut. A rut that I can only attribute to the toxicity of social norms and wrongful validation based on an individual’s genitalia, biology or gender expression. When the reoccurring subtle and blatant sexism of every single damn day seems to subconsciously build upon my heart, just faint enough to go indirectly noticed, but real and present enough to sink its claws into my gut.
It is a feeling that I often have trouble expressing and it is a feeling I believe to solely be empathized with and understood by women and femmes alone.
Silent and still, those daily interactions, the language, the moments that cling secretly to my sole pacify, they wait; until the moment when those slightly translucent walls between my subconscious and the forefront of my mind finally fade away. It is in the addressing of lingering emotions that leaves me momentarily feeling completely crushed by its cumulative weight.
Experiencing such a life in the body of a girl and then in the body of a woman, is to experience existence in such a multitude of faceted roles. The ugliness and the shame juxtaposed against the strength and perseverance is perplexingly complicated. We are molded, sexualized, demoralized and then told that we only gain respect and worth when we combat those roles and myths with a sly smile upon a made up face.
Made up to either take back the power “to be” or to hide the ways that we unacceptably truly “are”.
So, a short reminder to all men who are unable (by their own socialization not because it is entirely significantly their individual fault) to grasp the daily oppression of being less privileged than you and the importance of equity as human beings:
Men need to realize that when I talk about the ways society disadvantages women that I am NOT trying to take something away from you, only asking that the resources and opportunities be shared.
As a product of an inequitable society, I am willing to put forth the effort to understand all sides, all perspectives and all reasoning’s for our collective and group behavior. But that does not mean that it is women’s duty alone to understand, unlearn and reshape our collective culture. It has to be a group effort. Stop low key or blatantly defending your right to a platform and start putting forth an effort to understand how social norms and privileges affect us all. And how we all can share an equally leveled platform together.
Art by Frances Cannon